Important but not Urgent

Note: Due to the sudden death of a very dear brother in the BCBP Consolacion Chapter, I recall and I am posting what I have written 5 years ago about death.


During our January 2006 Worship Assembly, I declared that one simple but important thing I asked God for this year is to be ready to meet Him when death comes.  Inspired by the perfectly attended and grace-filled “Mesa del Gallo 2005” with our only son, I resolved to actively participate in the early morning (5:30 am) Holy Mass daily for my own spiritual preparation and my loved ones especially my parents who are now in the “departure area”.

The underlying circumstances of world, national, community and personal events in life are horrifying.  We learn from the UNICEF data that the number one cause of death among 1 – 18 years old children and adolescents is vehicular accidents.  The ABS-CBN stampede claimed over 70 lives (Feb. 4, 2006).  Jake, the only son among the 4 children of Kuya Maning and Ate Miriam Conejos is in the ICU (as of this writing) because of a reckless driver (Jan. 27, 2006).  As committed and united BCBP Community, let us empathize with the family and pray for Jake’s complete healing and fast recovery.  With expectant faith, we praise and thank the Greatest Healer for restoring him back to his normal, active young life.

What personally shocked me is the delayed news about the instantaneous death of Kuya Totoy when the car he was driving was pressed, squeezed and flattened against two (2) large buses.  I only learned about it during the weekend with Fr. Herb Schnieder, SJ through the chapter head couple of BCBP Calbayog City who attended the teaching sessions (Feb. 3-4, 2006).

Consider this a tribute to a highly regarded brother who is now with our Creator.  Engr. Manuel “Totoy” and Ate Marietta Espiña are both professors of the Tiburcio Tancinco Institute of Science and Technology (TTMIST).  They were our generous hosts when Judy and I were invited to share in the BCBP Breakfast Fellowship years ago in Calbayog City.  We met again during the 24^th BCBP National Anniversary in Dipolog City on April 2004.  I am sad realizing that it turned out to be our last encounter.  That final meeting was filled with active interaction, enlightenment and consolation.  I openly made known to him my guilt feelings when I failed to prevent the suicide of Kepner, a young BCBP brother under our unit.  That timely and opportune morning until noon dialogue from Dumaguete wharf to Dapitan was uplifting because I was talking with a true and faithful messenger of God.  He unburdened me when he related and vividly recalled how he attempted to kill himself when he was only 21 years old. I opt to keep the details of his story between ourselves.  However, I wish to express my sincere admiration for his openness (although he was hesitant at first), his courage and his noble accomplishment of a holy mission that was to be reconciled with his father and mother before his parents eventually died.  The healing of relationship happened when the couple joined the BCBP.  To Ate Marietta, I offer a special prayer for spiritual strength and endurance being untimely left by Kuya Totoy childless.

Why the unexpected and tragic death?  Instead of questioning God, let us pray with humility the following personal prayer (Fr. Orbos, SVD. Inquirer Moments. Cycle B. p.8):

“Lord, when my time comes, do not call me by sudden death; not by accident that tears the body apart; not by illness that leaves my mind confused or senses impaired; not by the mercy of evil forces; not with a heart filled with hate or body racked with pain; not abandoned, lonely, without love and care; not with my own hands in moments of despair.  Jesus, let death come to me as a gentle friend to sit and linger till You call my name. Amen.”

Let us reflect and take into account a happy death to live life to the full.  The weekend teaching about the 5 moments of truth in “interpersonal relationships” by our BCBP National Director taught and guided me to seriously deal with our mortality.  How do we like to be remembered by our family, relatives and friends when we are gone?

This is an important matter but not urgent.  However, let us “do something about it” now! nmg

An added note: “In our death-denying and youth-worshipping culture, we go to great lengths to avoid facing even the smallest reminders of death.” (Peck, M.S. 1997. The Road Less Traveled and Beyond: Spiritual Growth in the Age of Anxiety. Simon & Schuster. p. 86).